2010 In The Balls

Yes, it comes to the end of yet another year and I'll be honest when I'm glad to say, "Fuck you 2010 now get into the sun." The year was not one of the best ever for many reasons such as the movie "The Karate Kid" came out and so did "Twilight: Eclipse" (now these are just my views... so they're correct) and many more. In all fairness there was as also some good films this year but I think it's a 85% shit movies and 15% movies that I didn't mind watching.
Now I know what you're thinking, "Liam, you can't base a year on just the films." You are correct, I can't, but there has been a lot of personal issues that have gone very wrong like my BFF Miley C getting off her rocker and me having to stop her eating the floor, my uncles, sisters brother in-law turned out to have never existed and a shortage of bannanas at my local shop caused a serious stir for about 0.5 people, you see? So I have drawn a little cartoon of myself kicking the year 2010 in the balls directly into the sun. Come on 2011 don't be a bitch or you'll be getting the, what I like to call, "The pounding in the ass till death" move.

Miley Cyrus And Me Go Tripping!

Yes, you may not believe it but me and Miley C (she lets me call her that when the cameras aren't looking) are like party buddies! Seriously, I'm like her dealers uncles cousin. I joke... kind of.
If you're like me and don't really follow shit that goes on anywhere in the world ever then you may have realised that you could not avoid the story of Miss. Cyrus and her "Big Bong Adventure" which didn't interest me until she had this to say: "Oh my God! He looks so much like him! He looks so much like Liam," Cyrus giggles. Unable to convince her pal, she asks, "Is that me tripping? He doesn't look like Liam at all? Dude, that looks just like Liam!"
That's right, I'm even turning up in Mileys trips and as much as me and Miley C are BFF's and everything I can safely say I wasn't there but DAMN I'm like a human-mind-rash to that girl! No, seriously she was talking about her much richer boyfriend Liam Hemsworth whom is like my stunt double in my movies when they need a close up on my chin or something. The lesson to be taken here is that no matter how "off your tits" you are Miley, I will still be somewhere in the world writting random bollocks on my blog and then turning up in your trips like a pink elephant made of marshmellow and curry.
Here's a link to the story if you actually give a shit: Miley's Big Bong Adventure

Here's a photo of me and Miley on holiday to Bakewell. She just can't put that fuckin' bong down for 2 seconds, not even when Samual Jenkins the third was taking our picture... that's Miley!

Ducks and an exploding egg.

I've always wanted a pet duck. There's 2 main reasons why this is not possible though, firstly I don't have a pond, this is possibly the biggest problem when wanting to own a duck due to the fact I've heard that ducks tend to like water and I can't just hope we have floods every other day to help my little duck (which I would proberbly call Harold) get all the watery needs he may have and I would feel very sad looking at Harolds face when he is water-deprived.
The second big issue is that I'm rather fond of duck pancake rolls from pretty much any chinese takeaway and I don't think I could resist the urge, when very hungry, to attack Harold and cut him up to go with some lovely hoisin sauce and pancakes, this would be even more likely to happen if I thought he was water-deprived because I would then go for the "might as well put him out of his misery" excuse.
So that's the 2 main reasons I'm banned from the park. On a related subject, here's 2 brothers blowing an egg up in a microwave.

JellyMilk t-shirts are now avalible to buy, GO GO GO!
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(Don't worry, I would never hurt a duck unless he started it)

Fast food money?

Whilst browsing on the net today in my "I have nothing better to do at this point" time I came across a picture of Canadian Tire, now my first thought was "that's a funny looking note", but after staring at the picture for a few more seconds I was impressed with what I saw. Yes, I'm pretty sure the man on this note is none other than Burger Kings Scottish uncle MacBurgerKing. So after this I wondered if this happened with any other notes and to my supprise if you stare at a £10 note long enough you can make out Ronald McDonald, can you see him? It's like one of those magic eye pictures, you never notice untill you look really hard I suppose. Oh yeah, if you are on Facebook I have a new "like" page thingy if you wanna check it out just click here if you want.

Mario gets used

Ok, so I haven't posted anything for a while but today I thought I'd bring up the old story of Mario (from the nintendo games) and how I think he kinda gets used by Princess Peach.
Now I want to say firstly that I love Mario games a lot but seriously, Princess Peach just pretty much lets herself get kidnapped by Bowser, I never see her even attempt to not get taken away and I'm sure that she could protect herself and one of my main points is because she's a fuckin' Princess so she has the money to build better security in Mushroom Kingdom especially in her own castle. I think she does it for the attention, maybe Princess Peach just craves attention from a stubby fat plumber which brings me to my next point, Mario is a fuckin' plumber NOT a macho hero-of-the-day kind of guy, don't get me wrong here, I think Mario kicks ass but the guy has to eat magic mushrooms to get a buzz to kill walking brown mushrooms and turtles. When was the last time you had a problem with your shower head and a short, druggy, tubby, italian came to your house then left halfway through to rescue a Princess, proberbly never so he's gotta be getting something off her for all the times he's saved her ass from danger... and I bet she loves it. So, in the end I do think that Mario is a bit like Princess Peach's hero bitch and I've done a quick drawing of what things might be like behind closed doors (below) but I will say this, as long as the games keep coming, I'll keep playin'..