Extreme Football

Ok, anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a huge football fan, I do like football and follow the world cup... kind of but I think I should consider starting my own sport called Extreme Football where the rules are simple and a little different. What are the rules you may be thinking, well for starters there's no offside rule which means there would proberbly be more goals without some dumbass holding up a flag every 5 minutes, the goal keeper is allowed to headbutt players in the face if he thinks they're causing a threat to him as the players have slingshots that can only be shot in the opposite direction they're running in and finally and most importantly there's the landmines, yes, 15 landmines which are on the pitch in random places making the players rather edgy as they could be catapulted into the air and their body parts scattered over 30 square feet of the pitch. That is my idea of extreme football. What sport would you like to see extremed up? Comment!

"Oh yeah I'm gonna sco..." *BOOM!*

Aliens

This is just I quick thought I was having about aliens - the extraterrestrial type. I personally do believe there is something else out there in space but if they ever did/have come to earth I bet they would be like, "The humans think we stick our probes fucking where!?" I mean obviously they wouldn't think it in that language... but they might... this is getting a little bit confusing, my point being is that if we kidknapped aliens I think one of the places we wouldn't check first is an alien asshole and if an alien did probe some of us then I think it would have be a request from a randy human with anal interests and large alien instruments and even then the alien might be offended... that might be where aliens keep there money.

Facebook just asked me to type two odd words to post this as a link... well, I thought they were odd anyway.